I Call Shenanigans

Pronunciation: (shu-nan'i-gun)
-n. Informal
1. Usually, shenanigans.
a. mischief; prankishness:
b. deceit; trickery

2. a mischievous or deceitful trick, practice, etc

3. Deception or tomfoolery on the part of carnival stand operators.

"Officer Barbrady, I call Shenanigans!"

4. A restaurant preferred by Officer Rodney Farva. It is known for serving mozzarella sticks and having goofy shit on the walls.

Captain O'Hagan: I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says 'Shenanigans'.
Mac: Hey Farva, what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
Farva (from other room): You mean Shenanigans?
Rabbit:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mac: (hands O'Hagan the butt of his pistol)

5. An interjection used to falsify another's statement...pretty much the trump card of conversation

I Call Shenanigans!

So this is what is written on our Shenanigans cards. Basically we're all huge dorks. You should already know that fiance and I love to play board games... and well... so do our friends. (hey if you're friends don't like doing the same stuff you do, what's the fun?)

The point of Shenanigans is such:
When we're playing a game we each get to call Shenanigans once on a stupid question. (We've always done this based on the fact that fiance plays Princess rules, meaning that I can always have a redo...yes, I know I'm incredibly spoiled. When we play with friends we play by shenanigans rules...less fighting this way...we're all slightly competitive) Shenanigans means you can choose to get another question if your Shenanigans question is something you don't know because of the category, (ie I know nothing about sports unless its ice skating, but fiance is helping me with football, baseball, and wrestling) or if its just such a dumb question that everyone knows the answer to (ie, the quote below definition 4, what movie is this from...b/c if you don't know that, I'm not sure we can be friends) or NO ONE knows the answer b/c, simply it is the dumbest, hardest, why would anyone know that kind of question (sadly, I can't think of an example)

We also call shenanigans in general conversation. We're all big braggers and it is our way of politely calling 'bullshit'.

I take full credit for shenanigans becoming part of our friend vocab. I only take full credit b/c I call shenanigans the most...and b/c Perry will always slip up and say bullshit...I love that girl...she doesn't hold back.

So now we have cards to call shenanigans with. Now we call shenanigans on inanimate objects as well as people. I can't tell you how many times fiance called shenanigans on the bowling alley on my birthday.

Thanks to Blythe who found the definitions and printed up the cards. They are on the most putrid shade of green card stock you will ever encounter.

*kisses*


PS:there is so much more to Shenanigans but it is so very difficult to write about seeing as this is mostly an inside joke.

My Proposition for Beefing up Celebrity Reality

Seriously...who cares if another athlete or boy band member wins DWTS? It's not fair that they have such an advantage. We know boy banders can dance, its in the job description. We know that professional athletes can withstand the routine of rehearsals. It's just not entertaining anymore.

If there is another season of DWTS, I think it should be fair for us, as the public viewing audience who wastes precious phone minutes and text messages to vote for "stars". It is so blatantly obvious that these 'viewer's choice' reality shows are rigged...it hurts. So here's my proposal...Next season, don't include professional athletes or former boy band members. Include people that are actually stars and not 'professional charity organizers'. I want to see people that I've been wondering about where they've gone...

People like:

Charlotte Rae because who doesn't want to see Mrs. G cutting a rug? Plus she's like 82 and that just makes good TV.

Mr. T...'I pity the foo who thinks he can tango better than me'...can you hear it?

Winny from The Wonder Years, I know that she is like some math genius and what not, but I think she'd look fantastic in the costumes the give you.

Rowan Atkinson the guy's a comedy genius...do you think they'll let him partner with his teddy bear?

Molly Ringwald...what? She's freaking awesome and needs to get back into the spotlight.

Bronson Pinchot the guy's hilarious...and nowhere to be found.

The Robot Girl from Small Wonder...as the Robot Woman...hey we already had a woman with a prosthetic leg...let's do it Emeril style and kick it up a notch.

And last but not least...the ringer ladies and gentleman...

Captain Planet because if Celine Dion can sing duets with Frank Sinatra (postmortem) and Elvis then who's to say you can't superimpose our favorite pollution fighting hero. Plus you can draw him anyway you like...you can make him super good and totally untouchable or like super bad...who cares anyway? The show is totally rigged.

And that folks is the perfect lineup for DWTS Season 5.

(This rant brought to you by the anger and turmoil DWTS has caused me. That's right folks...last night Steve Sanders was kicked off leaving two professional athletes and a boy bander to fend for the title. Also the letters F and U and the number 4)

I was going to write about the Shenanigans card today but I accidentally left them at home and they have a big long explanation on the back so...sorry. I know that Blythe got definitions for the cards at Urban Dictionary, but I just went to find everything and there's a whole lot more there than I thought so, alas, I guess it will have to wait until tomorrow.

So instead I guess I'll talk about the wedding... :)

So you know we went to get our rings as described here. Well the rings came in so we went to pick them up. I'm super excited about mine because I worry so much about my engagement ring, I can't wait to only wear it on special occasions and just wear my wedding ring full time.

Basically, in my opinion the setting for the diamond in my engagement ring is too tall and I constantly worry about snagging it on something and popping the diamond out...even though if that did happen I have insurance on it so I could get it replaced. Ok, ok I'm clumsy and fiance totally realizes this. Every possible thing he can insure for me, he does. He's such a smart guy.

But, back to the rings. I tried my wedding ring on. It looks beautiful, and it compliments my fingers (I have little kid hands). BUT I noticed something. And to be totally fair I noticed this about the in store ring as well. The ring has a row of baguettes and the middle diamond looked yellow. So I mentioned it. Good thing I did too. They looked at the ring under 'the scope' (no joke, she said 'scope' I guess adding 'micro' just wasted time) When she came back she told me there was a very good reasoned it appeared discolored...the diamond was broken.

Um okay...aren't diamonds like impossible to break? Evidently when they were sizing the ring it popped the diamond...so now I have to wait for them to make me a new one. This gets a big old resonating...BOOOOOOOO.

So we're excited because at our Tux rental place for every 4 tuxes we rent we get one free. Well since fiance had four groomsmen then his tux is automatically free. Well we totally realized that we have other people that will need tuxes too. Ringbearer, officiator, our fathers, etc. So it looks like we're going to get another free tux. How awesome is that? I love saving money.

So I think this weekend we're going to get some major stuff done. I want to get the bobbleheads ordered and maybe the matchbooks. I want to get a design set up for my invitation. I need to go over the guest list again. Yeah once it starts getting closer...the more I start to freak out.

*kisses*

You Say Its Your Birthday

Ok, so my birthday was great...One of the best birthdays that I can remember. I apologize for my peppiness...I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY! I'm about to use the word 'awesome'** about 20 times...you've been warned.

It started out at Karaoke on Friday night. I was playing pool with fiance but not really paying attention, being the social butterfly that I am. He came up to tell me that it was my shot but that he had to tell me something first. He then proceeded to sing Happy Birthday to me because it had officially hit Midnight! (so sweet)

It was my turn to sing and I was going to sing "That's Amore" to make fiance giggle but then I found out that the owner of the bar really likes my singing...especially when I sing "Lady Marmalade" (I do all 4 voices). So I changed my song. Well it turns out that fiance and our friend Perry told Karaoke Lady that it was my birthday and they had everyone in the bar sing happy birthday to me...so awesome. Then I finally got to sing and afterwards the owner bought me a birthday beer. Yay for free drinks.

When we finally left the bar another friend Blythe came over and we played games until 4am. So then I went home and got very little sleep (who sleeps on their birthday? sheesh) and woke up for pedicures with my sister who drove in from where she lives...to spend time with me on my birthday. Then the whole family took me to eat at O'Charley's where they didn't have what I wanted (evidently that special was limited) but I still got a very yummy steak.

So on to presents...yeah we all knew I was going there. I posted my wish list here. and am proud to say, I think my family read it. My sister is giving me her old Yoga Ball that she's never used and she also gave me Gene Wilder's Autobiography...so far it is wonderful. I got new Crocs...YAY. They're Navy Blue and I refuse to take them off. A gift certificate for an hour massage that I'm going to shave down to two half hour sessions b/c I've never had a massage before and I may not being able to take a whole hour. I got really awesome pearl earrings. And while I didn't get a gift certificate to Old Navy I did get clothes that are awesome! I am so proud of the fam! Go Fam Go!

Fiance's birthday is next Sunday and we tend to get each other joint presents that we both enjoy. So we did it...we got a Wii....and it is freaking awesome but I will post more on that later!

So then fiance and I went back to his apartment. Played some Guitar Hero and some Scene It b/c we're dorks and it's what we like to do! Then Blythe came over bearing gifts! 12 pack of Yuengling and a bottle of Jim Beam Black. And the best present yet...Shenanigan's cards. (it would take a whole other post to explain those, so more on that later)

We then headed over to the bowling alley. This has become a tradition. Fiance and I went last year and ended up spending 6 hours there and a lot of money. But we were all hyped for midnight bowling. Unfortch...one of the local high schools had their prom that evening and rented out the bowling alley so we had to vacate at 11...booooooooooooo! We still had fun though. We played four games...I actually won one of them! Our friend Pibber showed up also bearing gifts. He gave me a Yuengling Pint Glass (methinks my friends think I like my drinkey)

We wrapped up the evening with a little SNL. Molly Shannon was the host and it was one of the funniest episodes of the year.

The next day fiance and I went to see his mom for mother's day. She was working at the ballpark so we got to watch the game in box seats! It was a little windy and chilly but still fun. Especially since the umpire had the squeakiest, girly voice ever. He honestly sounded like Barry Gibb.

All in all...best birthday ever! And in about an hour my co workers are taking me to lunch.

Thanks to everyone for making it a great day! (well a great couple of days...what can I say? My birthday is an event!)

*kisses*

**actual awesome count:5

THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!



And it's not even close to being over yet! YAY!

Details Monday :)

*kisses*

The Joy

I'd like to introduce my readers to a friend of mine. His name is Squeaky and he's a new friend. To be honest I just met Squeaky yesterday, but I'm just so excited about meeting him that I couldn't wait to introduce him to you all!

I've already let you guys know that we're in the process of moving our offices. In this process we've come across some really awesome stuff. We found psychology tests from the 40's. Stopwatches from the same era and dustbunnies the size of which I hope you never see. Some friends on my floor came to see me and ask if I would like to see something they found while cleaning. Me, being the curious person that I am, immediately abandoned my desk to follow them to their prize. This is how I met Squeaky.

Now he's a little funny looking, please don't be afraid. If you want to meet Squeaky...by all means scroll down.












Apparently, and this is my conclusion, the person, in whose office we found Squeaky, was freaked out by the baby squirrel running around his office. He waited for Squeaky to climb up behind his filing cabinet and then slammed the filing cabinet, thus killing Squeaky.

Also apparently, this person did not feel the need to dispose of Squeaky.

We have no idea how long Squeaky has been in this position. He doesn't smell, so that's a blessing. But I must tell you...

I have never laughed so hard in my entire life.

One of our moving men decided it would be fun to have Squeaky follow him around all day, and currently Squeaky is terrifying my faculty members because he's set up shop right outside our office door.

Now I love Squeaky and everything, but you better believe that I AM NOT TOUCHING HIM. Therefore Squeaky will remain outside our office door until someone has the guts to move him.

I must say though I am a bit curious to find out if Squeaky is petrified. Then at least I'd gain some insight as to how long he's been hanging out behind a filing cabinet.

*kisses*

Whiney

I don't mean to sound whiney or anything but seriously. Why do I even go to these doctor's appointments?

I had my appointment with the Plastic Surgeon this morning. The nurse took me back, asked what was going to be removed, and then expressed her joy that it was on my face and there wasn't going to be a need to redress me in one of those gown thingeys (gown thingeys is my term, not hers)

So I sit and wait. And sadly the only magazine that interested me was the people magazine from February with Anna Nicole Smith on the cover. I proceeded to read this publication twice before the PS came in. He then spent five minutes touching my cyst (do they not realize that this hurts?) and he told me that they couldn't do the removal in the clinic, that they would have to take me to the operating room and put me under to remove this.

Now, I don't like being put under (seriously, when I had my wisdom teeth removed, and they told me to count backwards from 10...I can't remember 9 and then all of a sudden I woke up in a completely different room and the nurse yelled at me to stay awake...so yeah I don't like being put under) but the way the Doctor was talking he made it sound like he would escort me to the operating room right away...Yeah...too bad I got my freaking hopes up.

They are scheduling a new appointment for me but first they have to schedule an anesthesiologist's pre-op appointment. And I'm going to have to take a whole day off of work for when they finally remove this thing because of the fact that they're putting me under. The doctor even told me that it would only take 20 minutes to remove this but he'd feel better if I was asleep...

YOU KNOW WHAT BUDDY? I'd feel better if you'd just remove this damn thing. I'm serious...I'm like one step away from Old Schooling it...I'm about to sterilize a very crudely made knife with rum and bite down on a leather strap to remove it myself!

I'm so sick of this run around...plus, I had to pay another $50 for this crap! And I'm sure I'll have to pay $50 for the anesthesiologist's appointment and then whatever my insurance won't cover for the freaking surgery.

Methinks I spy a conspiracy...