Wednesday, May 16, 2007

My Proposition for Beefing up Celebrity Reality

Seriously...who cares if another athlete or boy band member wins DWTS? It's not fair that they have such an advantage. We know boy banders can dance, its in the job description. We know that professional athletes can withstand the routine of rehearsals. It's just not entertaining anymore.

If there is another season of DWTS, I think it should be fair for us, as the public viewing audience who wastes precious phone minutes and text messages to vote for "stars". It is so blatantly obvious that these 'viewer's choice' reality shows are rigged...it hurts. So here's my proposal...Next season, don't include professional athletes or former boy band members. Include people that are actually stars and not 'professional charity organizers'. I want to see people that I've been wondering about where they've gone...

People like:

Charlotte Rae because who doesn't want to see Mrs. G cutting a rug? Plus she's like 82 and that just makes good TV.

Mr. T...'I pity the foo who thinks he can tango better than me'...can you hear it?

Winny from The Wonder Years, I know that she is like some math genius and what not, but I think she'd look fantastic in the costumes the give you.

Rowan Atkinson the guy's a comedy genius...do you think they'll let him partner with his teddy bear?

Molly Ringwald...what? She's freaking awesome and needs to get back into the spotlight.

Bronson Pinchot the guy's hilarious...and nowhere to be found.

The Robot Girl from Small Wonder...as the Robot Woman...hey we already had a woman with a prosthetic leg...let's do it Emeril style and kick it up a notch.

And last but not least...the ringer ladies and gentleman...

Captain Planet because if Celine Dion can sing duets with Frank Sinatra (postmortem) and Elvis then who's to say you can't superimpose our favorite pollution fighting hero. Plus you can draw him anyway you like...you can make him super good and totally untouchable or like super bad...who cares anyway? The show is totally rigged.

And that folks is the perfect lineup for DWTS Season 5.

(This rant brought to you by the anger and turmoil DWTS has caused me. That's right folks...last night Steve Sanders was kicked off leaving two professional athletes and a boy bander to fend for the title. Also the letters F and U and the number 4)

2 comments:

cr99ist03in said...

AHAHHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!! I would tewtally watch that show if those ppl were on! Good idea-rs:)

A Margarita said...

Captain Planet! I love that cartoon! Ah, that would be too great. I was actually watching DWTS the other day; I liked Billy Ray and they kicked him off.

As for my dog, you'll have to get past the gatekeeper, aka my Mom. I wish you and agent 00Elle luck. You guys are gonna need it!